Recently, I referred to a female friend as a diva. She replied in shock, “You think I’m a diva?” I responded, “You don’t?” Our discussion (via twitter) revealed that she considered a diva to be rude and demanding, that the term had negative connotations. I realized she may not be the only person who feels this way, so I felt compelled to share my definition.
Before I get into it, I’m sure many are asking, “What is a man gonna tell me about being a diva?” Excellent question. Although I have been referred to as a male diva (a divo, if you will), I don’t consider that my qualification. I’ve worked for many a diva. I’ve sung with and behind many divas. I am friends with many divas, so I know a diva the second she walks in a room. Let’s start with the popular misconception…
By definition, divas are not rude, snobbish or demanding. As I explained to my friend, divas are much like the witches of Oz: you have your good ones and your wicked ones. The power of a diva is the same, the difference is in how you use it. A diva is simply a woman who knows her worth. She knows that she is something of value and refuses to be treated like anything less than that. This knowledge of self-worth creates a confidence that permeates nearly every aspect of her life.
A diva realizes that how she looks affects how she feels. No woman can tell me that she doesn’t move differently when her look is on 10. A diva recognizes this and goes the extra mile to keep her clothing, hair, face and nails looking good. She does this not because she cares what others think or for the attention she may receive (although that is a definite perk), but because she cares about feeling her best.
A diva actually is the female version of a hustler. I know, I’m as surprised as you are, but Beyoncé actually got this one right. A diva uses her knowledge, talents and abilities to make things happen and to get what she wants. Whether it be personal or professional, a diva will make up her mind that something will be so, and it is. She uses her resources and people-skills to accomplish whatever her heart desires.
The little known truth is any woman can be a diva. It’s simply a matter of accepting and loving yourself. Once you realize that you are a treasure and start living like that, you are in fact a diva. You may shed some ‘friends,’ but that’s okay. You will find real friends who are seeking bigger and better things, just like you. And do you really want to be held back by ‘friends’ who don’t want better for you and your life anyway?
Tags: confidence, diva, insight, love, self-worth
Bravo CJ I didn’t know what to expect when I saw that you were explaining what a diva was but your definition was right on the nose. I’ve been preaching this same sermon to fellow friends of mine for years some get it, some don’t, and others exemplify it. Thank you so much for giving the ladies a male perspective on this subject of what you feel being a Diva encompasses. ?
I think that’s a good definition of a modern day diva.. But to me if she’s not singing opera, she’s not a diva. lmao