Yesterday was my birthday. My 39th birthday, to be exact. The online well wishes began before I woke up. Rather subconsciously, I decided I wouldn’t gloss over the them, like I normally do. I made the decision to not only read every message, but acknowledge them and give genuine thanks and appreciation for the more meaningful ones. They came flooding in. I had to stop reading them mid-morning just so I could get some work done. I looked at the ones I missed after work. It was time-consuming to say the least, but I looked at ALL of them, and wrote back to as many as I could. I forced myself to. (Catch that: I forced myself to. It wasn’t easy for me, nor was it a natural inclination.) I made myself take in the reality of the people around me. It was at this point that I realized how often I don’t allow myself to be loved. Continue reading “What We Allow: a Birthday Meditation”